Routine, we love you!

the return to school, regularness....  It was so needed here and is going so well.  After a couple of rough days last week trying to sort through what on earth I am doing, who are these kids, and yes, I really signed up for this voluntarily - followed by a weekend of just not feeling like myself, even when things are going well - I got slammed with The Cold.  No fun at all.  Day 8 today.  I took Monday off from work, worked a normal day Tuesday, and spent Wednesday working from home.  And bam!  My energy returned, in full force.  I feel like I can embrace this role in new ways.  The worker that didn't write back did write back, supported me, and showed up too.  My family and friends continue to love these two sweet boys ( and me too) and express that love in beautiful ways.  From a fellow single mom friend who spent her only afternoon off making and dropping off dinner to us, to the random emails checking in on me, coworker's concern, super kind bus driver, sister stopping by and the boys being so excited, my brother and sister in law being thrilled about babysitting this weekend and me getting a night out....  We are making it - not just surviving, even thriving a little. 

Oh yes, and the kids, since that was all about me.  :)  The oldest is just excellent.  Back in school which he loves.  He was so proud to tell me that he met his AR reading goal for the first time all year.  We worked on the 7 time tables this week, and by last night, he had them nailed!  He knows all but one of his spelling words perfectly for tomorrow.  I'm so proud of him.  He's loving our routine too.  He's not complaining about chores, or showering.  He has very dry skin, so we are putting lotion on his back/arms after showers.  That is a good, natural bonding method that seems to help too. 

Today was a visit, and due to mom being very late, it was cancelled for her.  The siblings got time together.  The oldest and I talked about this and his feelings.  He told me that mom has her first class she has to go to the next day, and added "so it sounds like we'll be here awhile, and that is okay with me". 

The little guy is himself again:)  Funny, hamming it up, and just thrilled to have the security of a routine.  We brought a cup of water in the car two days in a row when he was sick...and now that means we leave with a cup of water every day.  He must hang his coat up upon arriving home and will not let anything stand in his way.  He's eating better, sleeping amazing, and is just a super little guy.  This morning I was not ready on time and he was so perplexed.  He seriously stood there watching me do my hair with his hands in his pockets, despite my encouragement to play.  Nope, its the routine to leave for school after he is ready.  Yesterday while I was leaving his school, I heard him say "my mom's going bye bye".  He  meant me.  He calls me Mama Katie, but not "mom" all by itself.  That is who I need to be to him now, to meet those maternal needs and also encourage the bond with his birthmom. 

Its a good week.  We passed the one month mark and it feels good to be myself again. 

Three Days In

It is currently 8:04AM on a Saturday, and I am delighted to have slept in until 7:40 today.  So many small changes!  My oven is being used for the fourth day in a row.  Poor thing better not poop out on me!  One night both my dishwasher, washing machine, and BOTH bathtubs were being used at the same time.  I can't stay on top of kitchen crumbs...  My bathroom sink is nasty....especially because the cleaning supplies are no longer under it for me to quickly clean it with.
So many changes!  Those are the small ones, the ones I marvel over and cannot believe my life has held.
Meeting so many new people has tired me out.  Foster care worker, case aide, birth mom, sisters, teacher, principal, daycare staff - and then the people just on the phone, like the therapist.  And most importantly the boys and their previous relative caregivers.  It is full.  My amazing support system has fed us and completely been there for me to talk to and share my pain.  They are full of love.  I know I am not doing this on my own. 
So, the two boys.  I cannot believe what wonderful kids they are.  That is one of goals: to let them be KIDS.  The 9 year old is constantly trying to parent his brother (three years old).  We have not had one behavior issue.  A little bit of "oh man" over shower time and some of my homework rules:), but he is a delightful little boy.  He's Lego obsessed and thankfully not just about building them, because that kind of lifestyle cannot be sustained by me.  He's playing with them now, as I type, still in my PJS on the couch and my friend's breakfast casserole cooks.  The 3 year old is still sleeping:)  He (both of them) need their sleep!  We have been in bed no later than 8:30 and closer to 8 all week.  I let the 9 year old (I really need to find something to call him here!) stay up till 9 last night, and he slept until 8 today.  So, the 3 yo is a delight as well.  He wakes up happy and giggling and views everyday as a great adventure.  He did fabulous at daycare yesterday.  He did not nap, but rested, and participated in everything.
Although it is crazy and exhausting, this is my life right now.  I'm loving it.  I love these boys already and they just belong here.