Tonight I finally brought the boys to my local gym/health club/community center. I signed them up for youth memberships, meaning we can use the pool, rock wall, gym etc but sadly not the childcare. However, the child care center has kind of crummy hours and I don't think we will utilize it more than once a week, and then I can pay per time. I'm hoping to have sitters come after the boys are in bed and then I can sneak off and work out.
The pool area is gorgeous: a small lazy river, big water slide, lots of sprinklers... very fun. The oldest boy just loved it. Swam like a little fish, thought the big slide was amazing, had a great time. Little guy - keep in mind he is getting over being sick and just needs his sleep! - cried and clung to me like a little koala bear. He said it was fun, many times, while whimpering. Haha. I think it was good bonding for us, he learned that I will keep him safe, and we can have fun together. I will need to creatively schedule time here for us!
On the way home, the older boy asked me again what street the center is on, and he said "I will have to tell my mom to sign us up after she gets everything done". My heart hurt for him. Its an awkward dilemma: I want to expose him to as much fun, community events, and other parts of life as I can. But those things did not have much of a place in his previous life, which makes them very new and fun for him. That in turn makes him absolutely exhausted from all of the newness! If he does return to birthmom, what role will fun events have in his life?
I think I just have to believe that every positive new experience is for the good. It exposes him to another way of living. I am doing these things cautiously, watching his reaction before, during, and after. I'm trying to phase him! Tomorrow we are off to a big birthday party for my best friend's three year old. I'm curious to see how he will handle that. He's excited that there will be boys his age there. I love the opportunity for him to see how families can function healthfully.
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